Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
