i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
