I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
