I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Shame - the story of my life.
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