So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
