so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
