so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
