How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
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she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
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The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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