They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
