so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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