I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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