Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
