haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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