$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
