I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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