THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I think I sprained my soul last night
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
