you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
