And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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