We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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