Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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