she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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