I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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