just tell him i said nine months
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
