I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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