Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
