Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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