One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
