please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wish i was in the wii world.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You took a bar mat shot.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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