just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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