Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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