Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
