I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
dude. I can hear the air.
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