She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
