Screwed.edu
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize