Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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