U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
