Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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