walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
