White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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