You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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