She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
where am i from again
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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