I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
