Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
do nipples grow back?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
