Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
