oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
They took my balls.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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