thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The uberlube is also flammable
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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