I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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