His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
