Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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