stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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