On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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