I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize