Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
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the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
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Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize