I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
