he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
its liver damage thursday
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