i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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