I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
