If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
