its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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