Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
