i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
