first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
