I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize