Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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