my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
